Helping others, in my humble opinion, is a definite waste of time unless the person you’re trying to help wants to be helped.
Perhaps I should add a disclaimer now: you’ll probably disagree with me and/or resent me a little bit for this post. But see, it’s my blog, and that kind of means I’ll write what I please.
Now. In my Personal Health class, we’ve been talking a lot about victims of domestic violence and such. (Bear in mind that this doesn’t exclusively apply to domestic abuse victims.) My health teacher, Ms. H, urges us to convince anyone that we know may be victims to recognize that they are victims and whatnot, and help them get away from the situation the best we can, and whatever.
And that’s all fine and dandy — but who are you to get into the business of another person, another relationship, another family? If you’re not asked for help, what makes you so special that you can decide for this person? Who are you to judge them?
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying never help people and always victim-blame and gooooooooooo abusers! Not at all, actually. And of course, there are exceptions to what I’m saying — there are exceptions to everything — but if a man and a woman, or a woman and a woman, or a man and a man, or whatever, chose to enter a relationship together, knowing what their significant other is like, then that’s their choice.
Yes. I am thoroughly against helping people who don’t want to be helped.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t state your opinion, if it’s asked, nor am I trying to impress upon you that if someone says they’re having issues you should ignore them. But if you’re around someone who knows they’re in a bad situation, and they have no real desire to find a way out of that situation, you are wasting your time and energy trying to save someone who’s perfectly content with being damned.
The old saying ‘put yourself in the other person’s shoes’, I think, is complete BS. You don’t have all the same experiences that the other person has, and what you think may be good for you in their situation could be all kinds of bad for them.
My main point? One should always keep their nose out of others’ business unless directly asked for help.
Let the disagreements roll on in.
(But seriously guys, you know I love all opinions and I want to hear them all, honestly. We can have a civil conversation and it’ll be great.)